This past year has been tougher than I expected. I am ready to put it behind and to move on to 2020. :)
Before the next decade begins, I decided to take a look at what I have learned. 2020 is such a momentous number — there are movies about the end of the world and big changes in the “year 2020.” Here we are!
For myself, I needed to review a few things and see what I have learned. Here are 3 lessons I have learned about people and relationships since I left home at the age of 16 to go to college.
Insist on integrity.
Lead with integrity. You may stand alone, everything may crumble around you and need to be rebuilt, but act with integrity. You will attract the BEST people who appreciate that inner strength and resolve in you and most importantly, have integrity themselves!
When you lead with integrity, you actually free up other people to do that as well. You bring out the best in them and they do that for you as well. Insist on it. You free yourself from unnecessary and painful conflict as you end up working only with people who have integrity and you have friendships with people with integrity.
This one step alone radically alters your life in a positive way. By insisting on integrity, you free yourself up to be your best self, to share openly and to grow.Learn how to let go.
Relationships do not always last, no matter how well intentioned you are. It can be very hard to let go of an unhealthy relationship simply because the person is familiar and you have shared memories and history. Thus, you fear a loss of identity that is tied to that person and those experiences.People always show you who they are. A person who cheats in a relationship or at work, cheats in other areas too. Don’t try to make them who you want them to be. Just pay attention.
When you grow and change, you may find that people resist this change. They may have enjoyed some sort of control over you in the past and seeing your progress can kindle jealousy or feelings of inadequacy. They may try to dominate you again. Having clear boundaries can be hard to do especially with prior relationships where you let someone take advantage of you in some way.
A true friend - rare as he or she may be — loves you no matter what, and accepts your need to grow. The true friend is there to help you and loves you always. Be a true friend.
In other cases, a person may do something wrong to you. Forgive as best as you can. Say you are sorry where you need to. There are a few rare instances where this may be difficult to achieve. In that case, ask God for help and to forgive you for holding on to the anger, disappointment or pain. If you can, pray for the individual who hurt you. Aim to let it go.
Forgiveness however, does not mean you hold on to unhealthy relationships. In fact, you should cut them all out and let it go. Warren Buffett has a lot of insight on this.
Forgive yourself. No one is perfect. Own your mistakes, ask for forgiveness where need be, pray and let it go. Start fresh tomorrow.Make time for the people you love.
Before you know it, a year has gone by! Show the people you love, how much you love them! Appreciate them fully. Bring them joy and try to make the day a little happier, when you can.Help the ones you love and care about. Help them as you wish someone would help you if you needed it. Be there as much as you can for them and be honest with them too. Support them in their dreams and goals. Believe in them. Be a person they can count on.
Be kind. You never know what kind of day a person is having or what he or she may be experiencing. There is far too little love, generosity and caring going around. Never regret being kind or good, even if the person was ungrateful. Always behave well as best as you can.
That love extends to yourself as well! Love yourself. You matter.