A month before I turned 19, I realized I was ready to leave Emory. I had just finished two years of college with pre-med classes, but I felt that Emory did not cut it and was a waste of my time. I was disappointed by the lack of sufficient academic challenges. I considered transferring to Stanford or another university of equal caliber, but realized that most colleges at the time offered a similar curriculum that was just slow and not accelerated enough. Attending college itself did not actually require any imagination or encourage original ideas. Although I loved learning so much, I was concerned that college would not offer me what I sought. I considered launching my own business or going and writing a book full time. That was when I met Rosanna - Dr. Rosanna Cappellato, a professor of human and natural ecology at Emory. She taught me not only about ecology and became my advisor, but also many things important in dealing with different kinds of people. She encouraged me to have adventures and to follow my heart while still working within a collegiate system. In many ways, she helped me finish my degree and feel more grounded about my experience when I graduated.
She understood and appreciated my need to bridge the arts and sciences. Rosanna had a deep love of science itself - something rare I have found. It was not tied to winning awards or securing funding and tenure like most professors I met at the time, but a true love of science itself. She actually loved to teach! That itself was so wonderful! I think you can learn many things from books, but if you are going to the trouble to go to a college to learn something, you want to have a professor like Rosanna, who actually cares and will make you care too!
Rosanna also offered a broader understanding that I felt more at ease with. Looking back, I realize she taught me how to live in many ways. Rosanna had traveled a lot and was clearly self-motivated and independent. She could not answer most of my questions, but she had a thirst for learning, a child's appreciation of the magic of the written word and a deep passion for life itself.
Rosanna was very knowledgeable about her field of specialization and enjoyed a thorough debate. Rosanna was full of passion and also had the drive and discipline to get things done. She was always focused on the positive and the present at hand.
She loved to teach and was very good at it. She could get you to care about anything. She always encouraged me and gave me great advice.
She was like a mom to me and also a friend. She took care of me when I felt down and also helped me through difficult experiences (betrayal and hurt) and helped restore my confidence. She gave me generously from her heart. She loved my little Rosie as well and helped me with my friends, boyfriend and every relationship I had.
Rosanna had a huge heart like the big cats she loved - lions and cheetahs in particular! : D
After I graduated from Emory, Rosanna continued to teach for a few more years and then came up to Vermont to teach at SIT. I was very happy to see her again, but she found life in New England hard and that was understandable.
Rosanna had a thick Italian accent. She was very fast (thinking and action), which I loved personally. She had a quick hot temper like a lightning bolt, but it dissipated just as fast. She was patient with people, but got frustrated when systems did not work or admin could not be bothered to make improvements.
She was hurt by the coldness of New Englanders and other transplants who gossiped about her behind her back and made fun of her accent and her big dreams.
Rosanna always had big dreams and the heart and drive to achieve that. If that is not admirable, what is?
She left Vermont after a few years and went down to teach at a small private college in Memphis, Tennessee. "Warmer climate," she told me on the phone. I was a bit worried, but she sounded so happy so I was glad for her.
Her decision taught me a few things, although I am a slow learner I have found in the big lessons of life at times. I felt protective of her when she struggled in Vermont to connect with other faculty and the staff at the school. I knew exactly what she meant having worked briefly at an environmental non-profit organization. It is like a cancer when someone sits in judgment of you and never hears you. Having a culture that looks down on achievement and setting bigger goals, can be toxic to be in. They are unable to see the forest for the trees. Isn't education supposed to actually open the mind? Isn't it meant to help you go forward and build new things?
It was common sense of her to step away. If I were in her shoes, I would have dueled it out! I detest unfairness. I also however have lacked common sense about such issues.
Cleaning up something like this would require a change in atmosphere and the environment itself - big changes! I love solving problems, but something like this would require a thorough cleanup throughout the organization. Changing people's behavior is no easy thing. In fact, I think today, that it is impossible unless the person actively wishes to make a change. I much prefer solving tangible problems! Ha ha. 1, 2, 3 - done!
Perhaps then, a better use of one's precious time on earth probably is to spend it with people you love, doing what you love and what really matters to you, instead of trying to fix something that is broken. "Create fresh," as some good friends have told me!
She made the right decision, I know - the wise choice. :) After all, to teach is to share your love, passion and knowledge. Memphis won out and southern Vermont lost out on a great teacher and a compassionate human being.
When I used to hang out with Rosanna in her lovely home near Emory surrounded by woods and a big green lawn out front, she always made me feel welcome, but also a little on edge. She was like a cat. :) Her home was comfortable and full of marvelous pictures and books. Rosanna introduced me to reading Peter Matthiesen's The Snow Leopard. I liked the book, but it was her passion for the story that made me feel compelled to read it.
Her hunger for the written word was palpable.
She loved my writing and was moved by it. She urged me to write more and when she would read a few pages of something I wrote, she would say, "Where's the rest? I want more."
I remember asking her one time, "Does it feel real to you?" I had just written a chapter about Alfred Vanderbilt racing cars for a historical biography. She said, "Yes! I am right there." (Pause) "So where's the rest of it?"
...
I wish she was here to see what I am doing now. Rosanna passed away, but she's still with me in spirit. She loved animals and nature so very much. She was straight and true and held herself to a higher standard. She still inspires me with her zest for life. :)