Instrument

Some days I think I am an instrument upon which God beats, like a drum.

When I entered my teens, I used to feel overwhelmed by the sensations, perceptions and information I absorbed and learned about a place or people when I encountered it for the first time. There was so much to see and know. I could intuitively feel the strong emotions that people (who were unknown to me before that) felt and sometimes what they were about to say. There was often a big difference in what they said and what they felt. This would manifest in their behavior later on.

I would get frightened by this and tell my mom and she'd comfort me and help me be more at ease in the world. I wondered how this awareness would help in any way.

This I know now is an ability. Today I am at the point where I have lived long enough that I can stand squarely on the ground and not be afraid. I understand people better and realize too that many of these things are passing feelings and sensations. It is interesting now and more of a experiment against what actually unfolds.

Also the great mystery of what life is and what I must do with mine has come back to me and fills me with joy and an eagerness to explore and learn. Discovering who you are with all your abilities and expressing them is both fun and purposeful. It is electric and energizes to action. Anything is possible.