When I was 15, I was very clear on 4 things -

1) I was going to write a series of fiction books and have a career as an author, harnessing my imagination every day.

2) I would take care of animals and help in their care. Those who cannot speak.

3) I would be happy. (this was a given)

4) I would start a company, preferably design-oriented and I'd build things with others in a big way that had a positive impact in society (more fun, more useful)

Happiness for me translated to doing things I cared about, spending a lot of time with my mom having fun and seeing her enjoy life, playing with and taking care of animals and helping others.

Now a long time later, I look at these things again.

Learning...
In the last 22 years, I have achieved some of this but I have also spent a lot of time just surviving and also not always in the best company. Compassion is a beautiful thing but one must have boundaries.

Striving for Balance...
Learning how to be compassionate while being yourself takes effort. It takes will power and the willingness to readjust, to recognize your own imbalance and to be kind and caring while still remaining true to yourself. It takes effort and honesty.

The best people...

I have also discovered that just like I knew instinctively as a child, the best people that I have ever met always strive for something higher than themselves. They are innately curious and have internal purpose. I have also found that most high-achieving people who genuinely excel at what they do, are generous of spirit. They are willing to share their abundance and give back while still keeping higher standards for themselves.

This is more like how I intended to live and readjusting, helps me do that.

Making Your Own Life...
The one thing I have learned through this is you make your life. And so far, I have chosen to live a life this way, sacrificing for the unmotivated and not pursuing my own goals or using my God-given, innate talent. It’s not been fully living a life of achievement and compassion as I had envisioned. The funny thing though is once I say it aloud, it starts to manifest! Amazing really! It's like suddenly seeing a clear path in a maze or when you are hiking and you see the top of the mountain and you realize you're almost there.

Well, it's time now to do that all justice. I'd rather use my sensitivity and compassion to create in beautiful, functional and inspiring ways as I always intended.

I got to dream it up and do it! That's so liberating and natural too...

Talent...
As a kid, I was very idealistic. I was also very protected and innocent. But I had an unwavering faith and complete confidence. Everything was easy for me. I was always curious and eager to learn and experience. I trusted in the goodness of life and people.  Who I was at 15 inspires me greatly today to get back on track and to achieve those goals that were so easy then but got harder when I followed another path. There was a flow and an ease, free of distractions or demands. Challenges were inviting. How can I create? In what new ways? Anything was possible.

That brings us to the present moment. It is time to bring that ease and that talent back to the forefront and to use the persistence I've learned these past years in the things that always mattered. Time to build up!

And on a last note, no one ever defines who you are. Only you do. So choose big. : )